Is moving back in with my parents a good idea? Yes, it can be, as long as you and your parents feel comfortable with the move.
More often than not, moving back in with parents feels like an involuntary step back – a temporary halt in a grown-up child’s independent gallop through the hardships of life. When a child makes up their mind to return to their childhood home as an adult, this decision can be a direct consequence of financial struggles – too little or no income at all, a recent job loss, high debts, or even bleak income prospects in the foreseeable future.
Another common reason to move back in with your parents can be to plan out your future and save enough money after a recent graduation from a college or university. Going through a personal turmoil like a painful breakup or a devastating divorce can also be a valid reason to lay low for a while by moving in with your parents.
Either way, you have already made that important decision or it has been made for you. Now, before you pack up your bags, have a look at the following tips for moving back in with parents simply because, for better or worse, the rules of the game have changed.
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Discuss the move with your Mom and Dad
Luckily, no rules for moving back in with your parents are set in stone. The exact way you approach this awkward situation for both of you depends primarily on your specific relationship with your folks. If you and your Mom and Dad have always been on friendly terms, have supported each other through the years, have kept in regular contact and have had no major fights that may have cooled off your special parent-child relationship, then you should expect a good level of understanding from them, and you will most likely be welcomed to stay with them until you get back on your feet.
Nevertheless, the rules must have changed since the last time you were in your childhood home, so your first step to surviving a move back in with your parents is to sit down with them and discuss at length everyone’s expectations. An open and honest pre-move discussion is a must because it will eliminate false hopes and unpleasant misunderstandings from both parties. You need to remember that the house you’re about to move in is your folk’s home with a different set of rules and you probably won’t be allowed the same freedoms you used to enjoy as a small kid. After all, your parents are surely making a sacrifice to have you back, be it temporarily, so it’s your duty to make the stay as smooth and problem-free as possible.
Pay your dues
One of the best pieces of advice on how to move back in with parents you can ever get is to act like the adult person you have become. After the strongly recommended pre-move discussion, both you and your Mom and Dad should feel much more comfortable with the new living arrangements. Since you’re not a small child anymore, the inevitable household costs should be divided among the adults living under the same roof. In other words, you should consider making a financial contribution while staying with your folks, such as paying rent and/or sharing the increased household expenses, including the grocery bills.
However, if your financial struggles were the main reason to move back with your parents in the first place, then it’s highly possible that you won’t be able to contribute to the family budget, at least not in the very beginning. On the other hand, your folks may not want you to pay for anything, thus giving you a great opportunity to save up enough money to find a place of your own in the near future. If that is the case, then don’t forget to offer assistance with the various household chores in exchange for money – you can be sure that your parents will appreciate that.
Respect the house rules
After moving back to your parents’ house, the main idea is to remain an independent adult who still respects the new house rules. In fact, reverting back to your childhood habits is something you should avoid at all costs. For example, while it’s true that you will no longer have curfews like the old time, common courtesy dictates that you should still inform your folks that you’re going out with friends and that you may be late. After all, having your Dad and Mom worry about you, again, is not the best start of a harmonious life in a shared home, be it for a little while.
Moreover, if you and your parents should run into some sort of disagreements, prove to them that you have become a reasonable man or woman, and approach the issue diplomatically. Find a convenient time to discuss whatever is disturbing the peace and do your best to reach a shrewd solution that will be in everybody’s interest.
Have a master plan to move out again
How to cope with moving back in with parents? The process of moving back with your parents is not always as straightforward as it may seem at first. The most important aspect of your forced decision to take a step back is to treat the entire matter only as a short-term solution. In other words, you should have a good plan of how and when you’re moving out of your parents’ home.
- First of all, inform your folks that you’re planning on staying with them only until you find a new job, save up enough money to get a place of your own, or maybe even until you pay off your debt. It’s important that everybody understands, including yourself, that the new living arrangement is only temporary. This way, it’ll be much easier for all of you to show tolerance and understanding towards the inevitably different lifestyles and points of view.
- Secondly, set specific goals and work hard to achieve them. Be flexible and adaptive at the same time – if your spending habits come in the way of your successful exit strategy, then don’t hesitate to fine-tune or even change drastically the way you manage your finances.
- Thirdly, don’t forget to tell your parents how much you love them, and how much their invaluable help means to you.
- And finally, consider getting professional relocation assistance when moving in or out of your parents’s home to focus on their more pressing matters.
SEE ALSO: How to move out of my parents’ house