Rightfully considered to be one of the biggest milestones for a relationship, moving in together is more than just an important step in your life – it is the very first step on the exciting road that may take you to marriage and happy family life or to bitter disappointment and loneliness. There is no doubt that moving in with your significant other will change your relationship, for the better or for the worse. After all, you’ll be sharing more than just living space and expenses, you’ll be sharing your lives.
So, if you’re planning to move in together, you need to make sure you’re doing everything right.
What to know before moving in with your boyfriend?
If your relationship seems to be mature enough and you want to take it to the next level, you should address the following fundamental issues first:
- Is it the right time to move in together? No one can tell you how long to wait before moving in with your boyfriend, or when is a good time to move in together, etc. The answer is within your heart – if your lifestyles are compatible, if you trust and respect each other, if you can rely on your partner, no matter what, if you share the same dreams, fears, and hopes, then the chances are you are ready for the big step and your relationship is going to flourish when you start living together;
SEE ALSO: Is it time to move in together
- What to expect when moving in with your boyfriend? It’s only logical that when you both live under the same roof, you’ll be able to spend much more time together – to enjoy your favorite activities, to help one another, to build your common future… There will always be a trusted and beloved person by your side, whatever happens. Besides, your financial situation will probably improve as well – you’ll be sharing the rent and the bills, you’ll be buying everyday necessities together, you will no longer waste time and money commuting to see each other, etc. But what matters the most is that you’ll have a chance to explore your views on life and to find out if your expectations, plans and dreams are indeed compatible.
So, to make sure you’re both on the same page when taking such a life-changing step, you need to find the right answers to all the essential questions to ask before moving in with your boyfriend (what moving in means for you; what your expectations are; are you ready to sacrifice some of your independence; are you willing to make compromises; what little quirks should you be aware of; and so on). Only then will you be able to make the right decision.
Things to discuss with your boyfriend before moving in together
There are many important things to consider and talk about when moving in with your boyfriend in order to ensure a smooth and stress-free transition to your shared home:
Where to live
Depending on your current living accommodations, your financial resources, and your set lifestyles, your easiest and most convenient option may be for one of you to move in with the other. This strategic move will certainly help you save some money, time and efforts, but it may result in some inconveniences – the available space may not be enough for two people, the person moving in may not be able to feel at home, while the other partner may feel as if their personal space was invaded, etc. Renting a new place, on the other hand, will not only give you the freedom to choose the size and type of dwelling that works best for you, but will also give you the chance to set up your home the way you both want to. When hunting for a new home, however, you need to take into consideration several crucial factors: affordability, safety, commute times, proximity to amenities like parks, restaurants and shopping centers, etc.
SEE ALSO: How to choose your new neighborhood
What to bring when moving in with your boyfriend
When making your packing list for moving in together, you are recommended to first sort out your belongings and put aside everything you don’t need or don’t like anymore (outdated or outgrown items, worn out pieces, unwanted gifts, etc.). Find a way to get rid of it before the relocation – dispose of damaged items, sell pieces of higher monetary value to make some extra cash for immediate expenses (such as moving costs, renovation projects, furnishing expenses), donate items that are still in good condition to charity or give them away to family and friends, etc. Then, make a detailed inventory of your useful, valuable, and/or cherished possessions and compare it to your partner’s list. Identify duplicate items and decide together on the specific pieces you are going to take to your new place. Have in mind though that the final moving cost depends on the total weight of your shipment, so moving items without high practical or sentimental value will not be worth it.
How to handle financial issues
It is highly advisable to assess your financial situation and make a detailed plan about your shared budget in advance. Discuss the matter at length – start with trivial issues (such as who will pay the rent, who will take care of the bills, and what items should be on your shopping lists) and get to important financial perspectives as well (what savings you want to make, what are your priorities for the future, etc.).
It is generally recommended to use a joint account for household expenses but to keep your bank accounts separate (at least in the beginning), so that each of you can handle their own expenses (like cell phone bills and car insurance). Of course, it is up to you to decide whether you are going to split all the expenses 50/50, or the person who has a higher income will bear the greater part of the financial burden, or you prefer to have a shared pool of money you both have access to without making financial reports to one another, etc. Just make it all clear before moving in together. And don’t forget about your moving expenses either.
Related: How to make a budget for moving out
How to move in with your boyfriend?
When moving in with your boyfriend, you will not have to deal with all the complicated aspects of a standard residential move. Yet, the process has its own specific and you need to be well prepared:
Put your paperwork in order
You will need to collect not only your personal documents (birth certificates, passports, driver’s licenses, social security cards, professional licenses, skills qualifications, degree certificates, medical records, school records, etc.), but also your financial documents (credit scores, bank statements, income tax papers, tax receipts, letters of employment, etc.) when moving in with your partner. Have in mind that most of the above-mentioned financial papers will be required when renting a property, so make sure you get them ready on time.
Organize your relocation
If you will be moving in with your boyfriend (or vice versa), it should be quite easy to take your personal possessions to your partner’s place – unless you have decided to move some very large and heavy household items, your family and friends will most probably be able to help you transport your belongings without any problems or risks involved. Even if you are moving to a new home across town, a DIY move may still be a good idea – your relatives and your good buddies will be there to give you a helping hand, you will only have a few items to relocate, and the driving distance will be rather short. However, if you intend to take some bulky furniture, delicate artwork, or other items that are too difficult to move, consider hiring local movers – using their services will not cost your much but will guarantee a safe and smooth relocation.
If you are moving out of state, however, have in mind that any attempts for a self-move are most likely to result in costly mistakes, lots of wasted time, and many nerve-wracking experiences. So, research your options and book the competent services of trustworthy cross country movers well in advance. They will take good care of all your relocation needs and will eliminate the moving stress, so that you will be able to concentrate on your future plans and set a successful start to your new life.
Pack with care
To make sure your belongings will arrive in your new place intact, you need to pack them well – get hold of adequate packing materials and follow our efficient packing tips to provide maximum protection to your items. Don’t forget to label the boxes properly and to check them against your inventory sheet upon delivery.
Make your new place feel like home
When unpacking your goods and setting up your new home, use the opportunity to create an interior design that feels nice and comfortable for both of you. Enjoy the chance to furnish and decorate your new place together, to turn your residence into a cozy refuge from the outside world where you will be able to relax and enjoy each other’s company in complete harmony and domestic bliss. Respect the opinions and wishes of your partner and make sure he/she is as delighted with your new home as you are. Find creative storage solutions for the “meaningful objects” that are not particularly useful but you (or your partner) want to keep, experiment with artwork, and create your own lovely family nest.
How to live happily ever after
So, what to do when you move in with your boyfriend in order to ensure a harmonious and happy life together? There are no rules for happiness but you may find the following tips for moving in with your boyfriend useful:
- Set ground rules – split up the chores in advance and establish responsibilities for each aspect of the housework to avoid many frustrations, conflicts and tensions later on;
- Reserve your own space – you need to have a private retreat, a quiet place where you can take some time out and just relax on your own, get lost in thoughts, or relish a personal hobby of yours. Having your own space will allow you to share your lives;
- Make compromises – respect your partner’s opinions, emotions, habits, and points of view and do not insist to always get things your way – try to reach a mutually beneficial agreement instead;
- Accept change – when things change, the change is not necessarily for the worse – don’t be quick to reject new ideas or to get nostalgic for the past days. Share your fears and your concerns (if any) with your partner, but be open-minded and willing to embrace your brand new life;
- Dream together – whatever your plans, expectations, and hopes, discuss them openly and build your future hand in hand with your significant other!